1 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:34,410 Good morning, Mavis. Oh, you'll be up early, Mrs. Loker. Well, I had rather a 2 00:00:34,410 --> 00:00:35,470 restless night. 3 00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:38,370 Oh, did Miss Brahms keep you awake with her snoring again? 4 00:00:38,710 --> 00:00:42,170 Oh, no, no, no. But my pussy was very agitated. 5 00:00:44,390 --> 00:00:48,630 All those American tourists would insist on giving her tidbits. 6 00:00:48,870 --> 00:00:53,730 And then the poor thing got her paw stuck in some chewing gum. And during 7 00:00:53,730 --> 00:00:56,910 night, when she went to wash her face, you know the way cats do. 8 00:00:59,180 --> 00:01:01,440 She got a force stuck in her left ear. 9 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,560 Oh, the poor thing. Did you get it off? 10 00:01:04,780 --> 00:01:07,020 Well, I tried to, Mavis, but she ran away. 11 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:08,880 Never you mind. 12 00:01:09,140 --> 00:01:10,820 You have a nice cup of tea. 13 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:12,120 There's no milk. 14 00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:14,600 Morning, Mrs. Slogan. 15 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:21,640 My word, you shouldn't walk around in a flimsy outfit like that. 16 00:01:23,260 --> 00:01:24,840 Set a block on fire. 17 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:30,000 If one is as dried up as what you are, I should imagine you burst into flames 18 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,000 very easily. 19 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:33,860 Now, then, you two, don't start. 20 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,940 I brought the eggs and the milk. 21 00:01:36,220 --> 00:01:39,380 You ought to let me do the milking, Dad. It's bad for your back, all that 22 00:01:39,380 --> 00:01:40,380 bending down. 23 00:01:40,420 --> 00:01:41,700 Oh, I got round that. 24 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:47,140 I walked and towed up on the milk cart and took out a couple of floorboards and 25 00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:48,840 milked her standing up. 26 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,400 Got some in me hat. 27 00:01:55,530 --> 00:01:57,630 I'll have my tea with lemon, Mavis. 28 00:01:58,370 --> 00:02:00,990 Good morning, Mrs. Slocum. Good morning, Mavis. 29 00:02:01,210 --> 00:02:02,089 Oh, morning. 30 00:02:02,090 --> 00:02:05,250 Don't I get a good morning, then? Am I invisible? 31 00:02:06,070 --> 00:02:08,789 I'm sorry, Mr. Moulthead. You are very visible. 32 00:02:09,410 --> 00:02:10,850 Not to mention aromatic. 33 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:16,890 Well, I'd better be off. I've got a load of muck to take up to the top field. 34 00:02:17,230 --> 00:02:19,770 What an exciting life one leads in the country. 35 00:02:20,030 --> 00:02:22,270 There's no need to look down on us country folk. 36 00:02:22,670 --> 00:02:27,640 Just because we're close to the soil, My dad's an hard worker and he's got a big 37 00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:30,160 arm. Pity it's in such an unattractive wrapping. 38 00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:33,880 You get on with your porridge. 39 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:37,620 And what has happened to Mr. Humphrey this morning? 40 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,960 Oh, he's very tired. He's up all night. 41 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:41,400 Any specific reason? 42 00:02:41,940 --> 00:02:46,180 Well, he said he had a bad arm from doing this behind the bar with the 43 00:02:46,180 --> 00:02:47,180 Americans. 44 00:02:49,260 --> 00:02:51,140 And what exactly was he doing? 45 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:52,760 Shaking cock. 46 00:02:54,450 --> 00:02:55,990 Don't see if I can evade them. 47 00:02:58,890 --> 00:03:02,890 You know, Stephen, between you and me, I don't think that girl's in a very 48 00:03:02,890 --> 00:03:03,890 healthy situation. 49 00:03:04,630 --> 00:03:06,170 She's besotted with Mr. 50 00:03:06,430 --> 00:03:11,230 Humphreys. And being a simple country girl, I don't think she realizes that 51 00:03:11,230 --> 00:03:17,070 not what you might describe in the widest possible terms, a woman's man. 52 00:03:17,550 --> 00:03:21,530 And on the other hand, he's not, within the same boundaries that you describe, a 53 00:03:21,530 --> 00:03:22,530 man's man. 54 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:25,320 Do you think we should tell her? 55 00:03:25,980 --> 00:03:31,400 Mrs. Slocum, Betty, how do you break it to a person if they've got a mad, 56 00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:33,640 passionate crush on somebody in limbo? 57 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:35,780 Good morning, Miss Bryant. 58 00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:41,040 Here. Does anyone know, is it bad luck to pass a three -legged cat on the 59 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:45,800 Oh, the poor thing, I'm not going to help her. Don't worry, don't worry. 60 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:49,100 It was only chewing gum. I picked her up and pulled it off. 61 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:52,780 Last time I saw her, she was sat in front of the mirror looking at her ball 62 00:03:52,780 --> 00:03:53,780 patch. 63 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:58,960 Where's Mr Humphrey? We were just discussing the developing situation 64 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:00,040 him and Miss Moulton. 65 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:04,040 We were thinking that on the one hand it hasn't gone very far, but on the other 66 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:05,460 hand it's probably gone far enough. 67 00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:06,700 What's the latest? 68 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:07,880 We don't know. 69 00:04:08,340 --> 00:04:09,880 Apparently he was up all night. 70 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:16,339 As a result of the over -vigorous use of his cocktail shaker. 71 00:04:16,980 --> 00:04:18,100 Good morning, everybody. 72 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:23,340 Excuse my bare foot. One slipper is stuck on the third stair from the top. 73 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:24,800 Chewing gum? 74 00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:25,900 I'm afraid so. 75 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,980 I had the same trouble with mine. I had to put a cold plaster on it. 76 00:04:39,460 --> 00:04:40,460 Come on. 77 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,540 Wake up, Mr. Humphreys. Wake up. 78 00:04:49,420 --> 00:04:50,420 Horrid, you'll be getting cold. 79 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:52,280 Oh! 80 00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:54,660 Oh, it's you, thank heaven for that. 81 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,780 Oh, do you know, these Americans have been giving me nightmares. 82 00:04:58,580 --> 00:05:01,900 I dreamt I was at a gunfight at the O .K. Corral. 83 00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:05,000 Wouldn't have thought that within your nature, Mr. Humphrey. 84 00:05:05,220 --> 00:05:06,300 Well, it isn't me, this. 85 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:11,340 This big cowboy just said to me, this town isn't big enough for both of us. 86 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:16,200 Well, I tried to reason with him. I suggested we got a little flat in New 87 00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:18,800 Well, that seemed to antagonize him. 88 00:05:19,260 --> 00:05:23,400 He unbuttoned his holster and he said, I'll go for mine and you go for yours. 89 00:05:24,460 --> 00:05:26,780 I was just feeling for it when you woke me up. 90 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:34,120 All the Americans have gone, so you mustn't let them play on your mind no 91 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:36,540 A nice plate of porridge is what you need. 92 00:05:37,140 --> 00:05:38,980 And we'll have to get some bigger blankets. 93 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,440 What's wrong with these? 94 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:42,460 You keep dragging them off me. 95 00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:46,000 Every time I try to snuggle up close, you turn the other way. 96 00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:47,800 I'm used to sleeping alone. 97 00:05:48,540 --> 00:05:51,420 Would you rather I ask Captain Peacock if I could bunk up with him? 98 00:05:51,660 --> 00:05:53,280 Oh, I don't think that would be a very good idea. 99 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,180 Do you think he'd mind? 100 00:05:56,060 --> 00:05:57,820 I think you'd better get some bigger blankets. 101 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:00,860 Here's your slippers. 102 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,000 Thank you. 103 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,560 Where did you used to sleep before I came? 104 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:07,760 Well, I couldn't sleep in Dad's cottage. 105 00:06:08,060 --> 00:06:09,720 The noise there was something awful. 106 00:06:10,260 --> 00:06:13,120 Snoring? Ah, well, that as well. 107 00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:17,120 And what with the carriage on the other side, I didn't get a wink. 108 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:20,360 Of course, in the summer I used to enjoy camping out. 109 00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:21,580 So did I. 110 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:25,440 I was always a bit of a tomboy. So was I. 111 00:06:26,660 --> 00:06:28,300 Have you any sisters or brothers? 112 00:06:28,820 --> 00:06:31,600 Well, not that I know of, no. I've got a lot of uncles. 113 00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:35,980 I used to visit my mother in the parlour after I'd gone to bed. 114 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:38,500 Most of them were sailors. 115 00:06:39,540 --> 00:06:40,540 Full of tattoos. 116 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:45,540 There was one of them, he had a big tattoo right down his back of a hunting 117 00:06:45,540 --> 00:06:46,540 scene. 118 00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,500 You could just see the tail of a fox. 119 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,760 Well, you can put all that behind you. 120 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,520 You've got a family now. 121 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:56,120 Well, 122 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:59,860 there's Mrs. Slocum and Cam Peacock and Miss Brown. 123 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:02,060 That lot's very fond of you. 124 00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:03,840 And so am I. 125 00:07:04,740 --> 00:07:07,080 You can think of me as your big sister. 126 00:07:07,540 --> 00:07:10,620 In fact, you can call me Big Sis. 127 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:13,300 You can be the brother I never had. 128 00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:15,760 I think we'll keep it that way. 129 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,340 Mrs. Fletcher, there's a letter for you. 130 00:07:29,660 --> 00:07:31,520 Oh, thank you, Mr. Rumble. 131 00:07:32,180 --> 00:07:35,640 Oh, Miss Brahms, I recognise the handwriting. 132 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:37,200 It's from Mrs. 133 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:43,220 Axelby. Mrs. Axelby? I thought she was managing a beach cafe out in 134 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:45,560 Yes, well, it didn't work out quite like that. 135 00:07:46,020 --> 00:07:49,060 You know that Spanish waiter she was going out with? 136 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,360 Well, he didn't own the place. 137 00:07:51,660 --> 00:07:54,420 And now she's mucking in as a beach attendant. 138 00:07:56,970 --> 00:07:58,610 Looks like she's still doing it. 139 00:08:00,310 --> 00:08:02,590 Oh, say, the poor thing. 140 00:08:03,510 --> 00:08:05,890 Oh, she's saving up to get home. 141 00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:10,430 And she's working on a nude beach with very small tips. 142 00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:14,410 She says it's up and down all day. 143 00:08:15,910 --> 00:08:17,430 With the umbrellas. 144 00:08:18,310 --> 00:08:23,250 Fancy. Oh, she says it's ever such hard work getting all those mattresses in at 145 00:08:23,250 --> 00:08:25,710 night. Well, you know, I warned her. 146 00:08:26,270 --> 00:08:30,230 But, you know, she shouldn't be doing all that bending, not after her 147 00:08:30,890 --> 00:08:34,390 No, and not with all them Spaniards about either. 148 00:08:35,049 --> 00:08:37,750 Here, she hasn't got to be nude as well, has she? 149 00:08:37,950 --> 00:08:40,230 Oh, no, not Mrs Axelby. 150 00:08:40,669 --> 00:08:42,030 Not with her skin. 151 00:08:42,330 --> 00:08:43,330 She'd be red raw. 152 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:48,830 It's the Irish blood, you know. I mean, she could be covered in calamine lotion 153 00:08:48,830 --> 00:08:52,590 and still blister from head to foot, even in Whitley Bay. 154 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,700 Funny you should receive a letter from an old friend. 155 00:08:56,940 --> 00:09:00,480 Captain Peacock has just had an invitation for an old comrade's reunion. 156 00:09:00,900 --> 00:09:04,680 He's gone up to the writing room to reply on Millstone Manor notepaper. 157 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:09,580 Between you and me, I think he's a bit of a snob. Well, I blame his parents for 158 00:09:09,580 --> 00:09:11,200 sending him to Reading Grammar School. 159 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:16,860 Morning. Ah, Miss Lugwell, perhaps you'd like to counter -sign this cheque. 160 00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:19,680 It's from the tourist operator for the American Party. 161 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:22,940 You've been astride your mount again, have you? 162 00:09:23,820 --> 00:09:24,819 Yes, darling. 163 00:09:24,820 --> 00:09:27,920 Had a two -mile gallop, a couple of jumps and a gentle counterback. 164 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:32,660 It's very good for the muscles, especially the butt, if you catch it in 165 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:37,240 Well, as you know, it's as firm as it was when I was 16. 166 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:41,400 I'm sure there must be dozens of errand boys who are still alive that could 167 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:42,560 confirm your story. 168 00:09:43,860 --> 00:09:48,160 Don't demean yourself, Miss Brahms. She's not worth telling to get stopped. 169 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:54,740 Mr. Lovelock, next time you decide to jump ahead, would you bear in mind that 170 00:09:54,740 --> 00:09:56,820 there might be someone crouching down behind you? 171 00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:00,640 Why, it was you. You gave my horse quite a fright. 172 00:10:00,940 --> 00:10:03,860 Well, I'd stuffed me pipe and I was out the wind flicking me zippo. 173 00:10:04,860 --> 00:10:08,440 What exactly is that, Mr. Humphrey? Oh, it's a lighter that can do it anywhere. 174 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:12,440 It was given to me by that nice American gentleman, Mr. Conklin. 175 00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:15,020 He said it was for the man who had everything. 176 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:16,960 I don't know what he meant. 177 00:10:18,540 --> 00:10:20,800 I'm going into town. I'll take this to the bank and pay it in. 178 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:25,500 I say, an extraordinary thing happened. I was in the writing room looking for 179 00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:29,860 some paper to reply to a rather important invitation that I've received, 180 00:10:29,860 --> 00:10:32,080 opened the drawer of the bureau and came across this. 181 00:10:32,540 --> 00:10:34,240 My heavens, a revolver. 182 00:10:34,580 --> 00:10:36,480 Actually, Mr Rumble, it's an automatic. 183 00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:41,080 Perhaps it belonged to young Mr Grace. What would an old gentleman like young 184 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:42,360 Grace be doing with a gun? 185 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:44,740 Perhaps he was on the fiddle with his VAT. 186 00:10:45,380 --> 00:10:46,380 Is it loaded? 187 00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:47,560 I haven't looked. 188 00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:52,380 You know, it's rather like the Lugers that we used to take off the German 189 00:10:52,380 --> 00:10:53,900 officers in the Western Desert. 190 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:58,880 I shouldn't fiddle with it, Captain Peacock. Oh, I've had many of these... 191 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:01,520 Mr. Humphreys! 192 00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:05,240 Say something, Mr. Humphreys! Say something! 193 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:12,320 The pipe's gone out. 194 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:18,200 May you be a strong one, Mavis. We've all had a nasty... 195 00:11:18,700 --> 00:11:20,620 Oh, I thought Mr. Humphreys was a goner. 196 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:22,960 Good job it only ate that bowl of gin. 197 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:26,240 Yes. Pity it was a full one. 198 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:32,040 Will you take this in when it's done? I must go and help Dad in the field. 199 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:38,180 Right, now, would you like another brandy, Captain Peacock? 200 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:39,740 No, I think four is enough. 201 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:44,580 I don't think you should have told the police to come here, Mr. Rumbold. 202 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:48,060 You should have just handed the gun in and told them we found it. Well, 203 00:11:49,220 --> 00:11:52,600 I think he did the right thing. The police are very sensitive about guns 204 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:56,400 days. Yes, they'll want to know how it got into the drawer. Some terrorist 205 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:57,159 have put it there. 206 00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:59,540 Yes, and after all, you know who lives nearby. 207 00:12:00,140 --> 00:12:01,140 Know who? 208 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:04,860 Well, you may not know who, but those in the know -who -follow -what's -what 209 00:12:04,860 --> 00:12:05,860 -and -who's -who would know who. 210 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:11,060 Are we speaking the same language? 211 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:14,600 There are a lot of big knobs in this county. 212 00:12:17,740 --> 00:12:19,460 With royal connections. 213 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:22,580 I think one will go and have a game of pool. 214 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:26,820 I didn't know he lived round these parts. 215 00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:28,600 Just over the hill, darling. 216 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:31,300 Who's over the hill? Not you, Mr Rumble. 217 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:33,500 We were talking about our royal neighbour. 218 00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:39,240 Oh, well, he might be getting on a bit, but she's certainly not over the hill. 219 00:12:39,740 --> 00:12:43,260 I think you've exaggerated the importance of the whole thing, Mr 220 00:12:43,770 --> 00:12:47,570 After all, this is a simple country house near a simple country village. 221 00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:50,590 Policeman Plod will be round on his bicycle. 222 00:12:51,230 --> 00:12:55,310 I explained that I found the pistol in a drawer, he'll have a cup of tea, and 223 00:12:55,310 --> 00:12:56,209 that'll be the end of it. 224 00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:58,830 Yes, and there's no need to mention that you fired it. I quite agree. 225 00:12:59,170 --> 00:13:01,030 Well, if he's not here soon, I'm going into town. 226 00:13:03,830 --> 00:13:06,770 My, my, sounds as if they've managed to find a car. 227 00:13:07,710 --> 00:13:09,150 They've found a lot of cars. 228 00:13:46,540 --> 00:13:47,780 them on the telephone, Mr. Rumbo. 229 00:13:48,220 --> 00:13:49,240 I'm trying to remember. 230 00:13:49,540 --> 00:13:54,100 I think I said, this is Millstone Manor, Captain Peacock has a loaded gun, and I 231 00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:57,340 was about to say, which he found in a drawer of the writing bureau when they 232 00:13:57,340 --> 00:13:58,239 hung up. 233 00:13:58,240 --> 00:13:59,980 Can't you hear me, Peacock? 234 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:06,420 I'm going to put your hands above your heads, and no one will get hurt. 235 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,460 Can I in on the door, Captain Peacock? 236 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:11,300 They think you're a terrory. 237 00:14:11,620 --> 00:14:13,060 Oh, I think you'd better do as they say. 238 00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,360 Well, what do they have a shoot -to -kill policy? 239 00:14:15,620 --> 00:14:17,740 I'll tell them that they've made a mistake. 240 00:14:21,340 --> 00:14:22,760 You've made a mistake! 241 00:14:23,740 --> 00:14:29,140 Captain Peacock will come out and explain it to you if you promise not to 242 00:14:29,140 --> 00:14:30,140 him. 243 00:14:31,180 --> 00:14:33,360 He's just putting his jacket on. 244 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:51,680 So much for English O -levels. 245 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,000 Dad? 246 00:14:58,880 --> 00:14:59,880 Dad! 247 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:03,040 What's up now? 248 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:05,700 Well, there's been a big bang at the manor. 249 00:15:06,540 --> 00:15:08,060 Smoke's coming out of the window. 250 00:15:08,780 --> 00:15:11,880 I bet that's Mr. Humphreys with his pipe. 251 00:15:12,180 --> 00:15:14,040 He don't know how to control it. 252 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:20,800 Oh, we'd better get back. 253 00:15:22,020 --> 00:15:25,340 Hang on tight. I'm going to give the tractor some welly. 254 00:15:35,180 --> 00:15:37,740 Right. Hands behind your head. Spread your legs. 255 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,780 I never thought I'd hear that in the country. 256 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,700 That means you at the end, you as well. 257 00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:47,520 This is as far apart as they go. 258 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:52,340 move till I tell you. 259 00:15:53,140 --> 00:15:55,820 Which one of you is Captain Peacock? 260 00:15:58,440 --> 00:15:59,440 Twist him. 261 00:16:05,740 --> 00:16:07,380 He's clean. Sit him in this chair. 262 00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:13,680 So, you've taken this lot hostage, have you? 263 00:16:13,980 --> 00:16:15,580 Oh, certainly not. They're my friends. 264 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:16,819 Oh, I see. 265 00:16:16,820 --> 00:16:18,880 You're all in it together, are you? 266 00:16:20,330 --> 00:16:24,970 My dear inspector, you see, we've all served together for at least 15 years. 267 00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:27,770 Ah, don't tie him, have you? I've got four of them. 268 00:16:29,090 --> 00:16:30,410 May I say something? 269 00:16:30,770 --> 00:16:32,470 Frisk him, he's got a bulge in his pocket. 270 00:16:36,110 --> 00:16:40,530 They're very thorough, aren't they? 271 00:16:42,050 --> 00:16:44,950 It is his plight, sir. And it was, didn't I? 272 00:16:45,470 --> 00:16:48,370 Miss Brahms, do you think they're going to frisk us? 273 00:16:49,540 --> 00:16:51,000 I'd like to see him try. 274 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:52,740 Make a note, Colin. 275 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,900 One of his moles adopted a threatening attitude. 276 00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:02,680 Perhaps I might say something. I was the one who made the phone call. 277 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:03,439 I know. 278 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,900 You said there was an armed man loose in the hotel. 279 00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:08,079 Well, that's not quite how I put it. 280 00:17:08,540 --> 00:17:12,780 I merely wanted to notify you that Captain Peacock had found a gun in an 281 00:17:12,780 --> 00:17:15,960 upstairs desk and we wished to hand it over to the police. Well, here it is. 282 00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:17,339 Shut him, sir! 283 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,099 But, sir, in the circumstances, it would be rather difficult. 284 00:17:22,319 --> 00:17:23,019 Stay gone. 285 00:17:23,020 --> 00:17:24,540 Oh, let him have it, Mr. Rumble. 286 00:17:27,940 --> 00:17:29,660 That's the second bottle of gin. 287 00:17:50,860 --> 00:17:53,620 They've all been cross -examined in the hall. 288 00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:56,080 Well, I'm making a strong one for the inspector. 289 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:59,780 You give him a mouthful of foam and it don't taste very nice. 290 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,380 I don't think I'm very popular around here. 291 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,300 No, you're not. 292 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:08,320 And there wasn't even a fire. 293 00:18:08,780 --> 00:18:09,780 Maybe not. 294 00:18:10,540 --> 00:18:12,960 But that inspector was put out. 295 00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:16,180 Now, listen, you two. 296 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:20,980 I wasn't bold yesterday. Me and my... Sergeant, a witness is to the fact that 297 00:18:20,980 --> 00:18:23,440 you incited this man to attempted murder. 298 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:27,580 But I didn't, really, I didn't. You had a note of what he said, Colin? Yes, sir. 299 00:18:27,660 --> 00:18:29,740 He said loud and clear, let him have it, Mr. 300 00:18:30,020 --> 00:18:32,780 Rumbold. Look, all he meant was give him the gun. 301 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:36,940 Anybody with half an eye could see that Mr. Humphreys is a very mild -mannered 302 00:18:36,940 --> 00:18:39,800 gentleman who wouldn't incite anybody to do anything. 303 00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:41,260 Well, not that, anyway. 304 00:18:43,100 --> 00:18:46,720 Nevertheless, he uttered those very words, let him have it, Mr. Rumbold. 305 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:50,240 whereupon you pointed a gun in my direction and pulled the trigger. 306 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:53,780 Well, as a matter of fact, your sergeant pulled the trigger as he was trying to 307 00:18:53,780 --> 00:18:56,520 take it off me. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. 308 00:18:56,860 --> 00:18:59,860 I suppose you're going to tell the jury that we tried to fit you up. 309 00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:04,520 It won't wash my son. You're in it up to here. Now, let's get back to square 310 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:10,020 one. You, Captain Peacock, you are asking me to believe that you found this 311 00:19:10,020 --> 00:19:13,960 in a drawer in the writing room? That is correct. I suppose you're going to tell 312 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,660 me that you didn't know it was a Russian gun. 313 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:18,300 Does a Nacaroth mean anything to you? 314 00:19:20,540 --> 00:19:22,100 I think it'd mean quite a lot. 315 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:27,600 Just what are you implying? Did you know that this make of gun was a favourite 316 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,640 weapon of the Russian secret service? 317 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:33,240 I'm referring, of course, to the K -Gay Bay. 318 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:34,960 I beg your pardon? 319 00:19:37,340 --> 00:19:38,780 He means the KGB. 320 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:40,720 Ah, so you speak the language. 321 00:19:41,060 --> 00:19:42,320 If I may say so. 322 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:45,780 Captain Peacock thought it was similar to a Luger. He said so just before it 323 00:19:45,780 --> 00:19:49,140 went off the first time. Ah, now we're getting down to it. You, Captain 324 00:19:49,140 --> 00:19:51,580 fired a said gun before we entered the premises. 325 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:56,120 Bit of a quarrel amongst the gang, was there? We are not a gang. 326 00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:59,040 As it happens, we all worked in the same department. 327 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:03,280 Mr. Rumbold was the department head and I was his second -in -command, so to 328 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:04,640 speak. And I was on the counter. 329 00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:06,500 Espionage. White fronts. 330 00:20:08,719 --> 00:20:13,580 I see, a secret cell set up to destabilise democratic government. 331 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:14,799 Oh, God. 332 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,080 Second bullet's over here, sir, behind the bar. 333 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:18,219 That's right. 334 00:20:18,220 --> 00:20:21,880 It went between Mr Humphreys and myself and broke a bottle of gin. Ah, which of 335 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:22,880 you was it meant for? 336 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:25,400 Now, if I may say so... Shut up, you. You've got a posh accent. 337 00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:26,700 Were you at Cambridge? 338 00:20:26,860 --> 00:20:29,200 Well, I had a green spell at the haberdashers, though. 339 00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:32,780 Haberdashers. Yeah, that's one of them public schools, isn't it? 340 00:20:33,350 --> 00:20:38,390 Does the name Blunt mean anything to you? Or Burgess or McLean? They were a 341 00:20:38,390 --> 00:20:40,490 pretty peculiar bunch. Very peculiar. 342 00:20:42,070 --> 00:20:44,130 You, you look like the Cambridge type. 343 00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:45,670 Were you there as well? 344 00:20:45,930 --> 00:20:46,930 Were you turned? 345 00:20:47,370 --> 00:20:48,430 I'm not at Cambridge. 346 00:20:51,430 --> 00:20:55,450 Well, who's for tea? You look as if you could do with it all of you. 347 00:20:55,830 --> 00:20:59,470 What are you doing to Mr. Radford? You get off him! Are you his girlfriend? 348 00:21:00,250 --> 00:21:01,250 Certainly not. 349 00:21:01,290 --> 00:21:02,290 We're just friends. 350 00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:04,560 Ah, would comrades be nearer to the mark? 351 00:21:04,820 --> 00:21:09,180 Well, you can call it what you like, but he's a perfect gentleman and wouldn't 352 00:21:09,180 --> 00:21:10,240 do nothing to nobody. 353 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:13,320 Well, I don't know what that does for my reputation, but thank you. 354 00:21:14,020 --> 00:21:15,800 Don't let that tea get cold. 355 00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:19,660 That's the printout of all the backgrounds there, sir. Good. This is a 356 00:21:19,660 --> 00:21:21,400 history of all of you from day one. 357 00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:23,640 All except Mrs. Slocum, sir. 358 00:21:23,900 --> 00:21:25,560 All the records don't go back that far. 359 00:21:28,380 --> 00:21:31,340 Well, there doesn't appear to be any political affiliations here. 360 00:21:31,660 --> 00:21:34,820 You all appear to be who you say you are. What boring lives you've all led, 361 00:21:34,940 --> 00:21:35,940 except you. 362 00:21:36,020 --> 00:21:41,640 Right, that leaves us with two straightforward cases of attempted 363 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,880 nasty case of incitement to kill a policeman. 364 00:21:45,420 --> 00:21:47,720 Could I have a word in private, sir? 365 00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:51,620 All right, step outside into the lobby. Colin, none of you move. 366 00:21:52,380 --> 00:21:55,840 I feel like a wet rag. 367 00:21:56,680 --> 00:22:00,320 Fancy trying to like me with Blunt and Burgess and Maclean. 368 00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:05,080 Well, in my opinion, he's overstepped his authority and I am unanimous in 369 00:22:05,460 --> 00:22:08,560 The police are a funny lot. Remember how they roughed you up when you wouldn't 370 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,180 get out of that Dodgeham car in Blackpool? 371 00:22:10,460 --> 00:22:14,240 I was immobilised halfway through the ride with a stuck pedal. 372 00:22:15,540 --> 00:22:18,460 I said I wasn't going to pay and I didn't. 373 00:22:19,070 --> 00:22:21,250 No, but you paid the magistrate, didn't you? 374 00:22:22,590 --> 00:22:23,930 Forty shillings, wasn't it? 375 00:22:24,150 --> 00:22:27,550 Oh, yes, but that was for hitting the policeman with my handbag. 376 00:22:28,590 --> 00:22:30,310 Well, we'd better not mention that. 377 00:22:30,670 --> 00:22:31,910 It's here, as a matter of fact. 378 00:22:32,390 --> 00:22:35,970 And the Soho affair, when you knocked the policeman's helmet off. That was a 379 00:22:35,970 --> 00:22:36,970 handbag as well. 380 00:22:37,590 --> 00:22:41,510 Does it say in there about how you threw yourself under the king's sword with 381 00:22:41,510 --> 00:22:42,510 Mrs Pankhurst? 382 00:22:45,290 --> 00:22:46,830 Don't be cheeky, Miss Brown. 383 00:22:47,470 --> 00:22:51,590 Those were minor offences, Mrs Slocan. They're trying to charge me with 384 00:22:51,590 --> 00:22:52,509 attempted murder. 385 00:22:52,510 --> 00:22:54,230 I've never even had a parking ticket. 386 00:22:54,530 --> 00:22:55,530 Oh, no? 387 00:22:55,870 --> 00:23:02,090 Would you by any chance be the same Knuckles Rombold, leader of a roller 388 00:23:02,090 --> 00:23:06,370 -skating gang suspected of stealing two grapefruit and a Cox's orange pippin 389 00:23:06,370 --> 00:23:08,470 from Romford High Street in 1947? 390 00:23:09,730 --> 00:23:11,150 Good heavens, is that there? 391 00:23:11,690 --> 00:23:16,070 And it seems that the North Acton Public Library is still awaiting the return of 392 00:23:16,070 --> 00:23:18,930 Lolita, Fanny Hill and Fly Fishing by J .R. 393 00:23:22,130 --> 00:23:23,330 That's where it went. 394 00:23:24,510 --> 00:23:28,950 There's no privacy in one's life at all, isn't there? I'm surprised that there's 395 00:23:28,950 --> 00:23:30,630 no mention of Mr. Humphreys. 396 00:23:30,930 --> 00:23:31,930 Oh, but there is. 397 00:23:32,130 --> 00:23:33,130 Pages of it. 398 00:23:36,110 --> 00:23:38,650 Starting from the day that he was found on the doorstep. 399 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:40,560 An abandoned baby. 400 00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:42,600 I wasn't abandoned. 401 00:23:42,940 --> 00:23:44,860 My mother put me out instead of the cat. 402 00:23:46,460 --> 00:23:50,600 She was going through very emotional problems at the time. Anyway, next 403 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:53,800 Alsatian came and carried me off and looked after me for a day or two. 404 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:55,320 Then I crawled back. 405 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,940 I didn't like the sort of dog biscuits he was giving me. 406 00:23:59,300 --> 00:24:03,200 Right, you'll be pleased to hear, Mr. Rumbold, that there seems to be room for 407 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:04,940 reasonable doubt about your case. 408 00:24:05,610 --> 00:24:10,090 Apparently the sergeant might have had his finger in the trigger guard near the 409 00:24:10,090 --> 00:24:11,690 time when the weapon was discharged. 410 00:24:12,110 --> 00:24:13,610 So we won't proceed with that matter. 411 00:24:13,830 --> 00:24:15,410 Oh, what a relief. Well, what about me? 412 00:24:15,790 --> 00:24:19,090 You can hardly charge him with inciting a crime that didn't happen. 413 00:24:19,390 --> 00:24:23,290 Well, you could have done, but unfortunately these days you can't rely 414 00:24:23,290 --> 00:24:24,650 to come to a sensible conclusion. 415 00:24:25,150 --> 00:24:27,910 Can we just get the whole matter closed? No, we cannot. 416 00:24:28,510 --> 00:24:31,830 The gun was produced, the shot was fired before we entered the premises. We 417 00:24:31,830 --> 00:24:35,370 still have the possibility of attempted murder on our hands. There's one thing 418 00:24:35,370 --> 00:24:36,690 you've forgotten, Inspector. 419 00:24:37,150 --> 00:24:40,510 One small detail that you've overlooked. 420 00:24:40,730 --> 00:24:47,670 A detail without which your case will collapse in dust about your feet. 421 00:24:47,930 --> 00:24:49,670 And what is that, Miss Marple? 422 00:24:50,090 --> 00:24:51,510 No motive. 423 00:24:55,690 --> 00:25:00,190 Well, for instance, there is such a thing as a crime of passion. Crime of 424 00:25:00,190 --> 00:25:03,190 passion? I'll have you know that bullet narrowly missed me. 425 00:25:03,390 --> 00:25:05,570 Is there anything between you two that I should know about? 426 00:25:07,290 --> 00:25:12,770 It also, sir, just missed that lady who's reclining on the sofa over there. 427 00:25:12,770 --> 00:25:13,770 Lovecock. 428 00:25:14,910 --> 00:25:15,910 Lovelock? 429 00:25:16,910 --> 00:25:18,210 You're writing, Colin. 430 00:25:18,470 --> 00:25:20,670 I have no reason to shoot Miss Lovelock. 431 00:25:20,950 --> 00:25:23,310 In fact, we get on extremely well together. 432 00:25:23,580 --> 00:25:26,980 Maybe her and Mr Humphrey's got on extremely well together and you wanted 433 00:25:26,980 --> 00:25:27,980 rid of a younger rival. 434 00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:30,240 Actually, I'm not all that much younger. 435 00:25:30,900 --> 00:25:33,080 It's just that I've always had a very good skin. 436 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,420 He's not after Miss Lovelock. 437 00:25:36,700 --> 00:25:39,560 He's too busy bunking up with Mavis Moulter. 438 00:25:40,100 --> 00:25:42,480 I've told you all before, it's perfectly innocent. 439 00:25:42,940 --> 00:25:45,940 She doesn't like sleeping with her father because of the farmyard noises. 440 00:25:46,780 --> 00:25:49,980 She used to sleep with the chef and I took over where he left off. 441 00:25:50,420 --> 00:25:51,660 Where did he leave off? 442 00:25:53,420 --> 00:25:55,700 I don't know. He'd gone by the time I arrived. 443 00:25:56,760 --> 00:26:00,520 Perhaps I could explain one or two points. There is nothing going on 444 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,780 Captain Peacock and Miss Lovelock. She doesn't even sleep in the house. She 445 00:26:03,780 --> 00:26:05,280 sleeps in the groom's quarters. 446 00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:06,900 I've got an Arab there. 447 00:26:07,580 --> 00:26:11,680 Anyway, we would know if he got up to anything in the night, because me and 448 00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:13,260 Flo can sleep next to him. 449 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:14,600 What, the Arab? 450 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:15,960 No. 451 00:26:16,220 --> 00:26:19,020 Captain Peacock. He's a stallion. 452 00:26:24,110 --> 00:26:25,110 It's the North. 453 00:26:25,350 --> 00:26:26,490 A Norwegian. 454 00:26:28,450 --> 00:26:30,070 From Ireland, actually. 455 00:26:30,350 --> 00:26:32,290 Let me see if I've got this right. 456 00:26:32,530 --> 00:26:35,950 Mr Humphreys is sleeping with the farmer's daughter. 457 00:26:36,410 --> 00:26:40,330 Miss Lovelock sleeps with the groom and an Irish Arab. 458 00:26:41,110 --> 00:26:45,690 And Captain Peacock sleeps with Mrs Slocum and Miss Brahms. Is that right? 459 00:26:46,270 --> 00:26:47,630 A little do for now. 460 00:26:49,570 --> 00:26:52,930 I think, sir, that you're getting into rather deep water here. 461 00:26:53,390 --> 00:26:57,490 I don't know if anyone's interested, but I got a nice big bun in the oven. 462 00:26:59,510 --> 00:27:00,790 Get in the car, Colin. 463 00:27:02,670 --> 00:27:08,810 Next time you lot find a gun in a drawer, don't call the police. Call the 464 00:27:08,810 --> 00:27:11,710 and tell them to bring a social worker and a priest. 465 00:27:13,490 --> 00:27:15,430 I think that went on quite well, don't you? 466 00:27:15,810 --> 00:27:16,810 Is he gone? 467 00:27:17,230 --> 00:27:18,790 Yes, he was very confused. 468 00:27:19,490 --> 00:27:20,490 Drat! 469 00:27:20,780 --> 00:27:23,780 I've been keeping this blunderbuss under me bed. 470 00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:26,880 Oh, Dad, you've still got that old thing. 471 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:28,720 Used to belong to Grandpa. 472 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,480 I thought perhaps I'd better hand it in. 473 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:34,380 Oh, quick, then you might just catch him. 474 00:27:55,210 --> 00:27:57,510 I think we'll leave you to deal with this one, Mr. Moulton.